Change Happens

. . . sometimes slowly.

I'm still at my job, but just for another month. I've been extended and extended, but April 6 is finally it -- supposedly. Funny thing, despite the economy and unemployment issues, we've had trouble finding even a temp to fill my position. Not that it's really special, but I guess finding someone with the skills and ambition (or lack of) to take the job has been far more difficult than anyone thought. Luckily, I've been flexible to stay, and luckily  they've been flexible to let me work four days a week, so it's been a win-win. 

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and the transitions are starting to happen. My sweet roommate of the past two years has moved out and is moving on to greener pastures, literally. His airline offered him a year-long furlough and he will be spending the time at a retreat center in Hawaii, and he just left a few days ago. 

It started to hit me last Friday that he left, that there'll be no more evenings of us hanging out together, having quirky conversations, trying his experimental (and mostly tasty) vegetable juices, and his mellow nature. While I enjoyed living with him, I guess I didn't appreciate it as much as I could have -- but how. 

Is it him that I'm missing or is it just the realization, and just the processing that my life is drastically changing. Perhaps this is a mourning process of losing the life I've had for the past couple of years, and by switching careers, losing the identity I've had for the past few decades. Sure, I'm scared, and when I'm scared, it's my natural inclination to stay still -- which is probably why this 2-month extension after my resignation isn't such a bad thing. Although, after the director found out about the extension, she wanted to have me out before the end of this week. While I doubt her motives had anything to do with anything beneficial for me or my team, it startled me enough to feel the band-aid rip right off, and combined with my roommate's departure, there really is no turning back. 

Feeling LOST is an understatement. So many things to do, so many places to go, and so little direction except to surrender. I'm placing my life and career in the hands of Fate, taking that leap into the abyss and hoping that the bridge like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade appears.