My family of FreeSpirits and a Bear

A few years ago, on the heels of one of the most difficult times of my life, I went to see a healer. I was reeling from the loss of my marriage, I was even more devastated to lose a group of people I considered my family, the in-laws.

I was never particularly close to my own family. I had a history of abandonment from my father who would randomly yet consistently leave me stranded at places as a child or simply would miss showing up for designated visitation days; my mother who "raised" me and I never really got along whenever she was home in between trips to Europe and we severed ties as soon as I graduated high school; my grandparents were virtually non-existent, mainly because they had either passed away or didn't get along with my mother. I had siblings, half-siblings, but they were part of my father's new family and, until recently, any involvement I had with them was simply an afterthought -- if at all.

So I had my in-laws, including a grandmother who adopted me close to her heart almost immediately. There was also an aunt whom I felt an immediate connection with and became my confidante and source of comfort. I felt the biggest loss from my divorce by losing my ties with them. Sure they offered the option to always stay in touch, but it ended up being a one-way communication.

I discussed this sense of loss with the healer and she assured me I'd have many families in my life -- 7, in fact. I already knew of at least 2 or 3 already, including my biological family. I was no stranger to the idea of the Urban Family, and in fact fostered the concept especially for many a holiday starting with my Oz Family, mostly of old roommates, neighbors and close friends I'd accumulated over about 10 years of living on Kansas Street in San Francisco.

The latest addition is a group of very special souls I met in Sedona earlier this month. I may have only been there for a week, but the lessons learned and the relationships I made will last a lifetime and longer. There were some amazing people I met at The 11.11.11 Gathering and I am forever grateful to Scott Love and Becky French and all the other Emergence CreativeSpace team members for putting it and keeping it together. In addition to the opportunity for me to step into my True Self, I got to join a whole new extensive family developed by Scott & Becky, and create a loving home with a core group of extraordinary individuals who have each taught me something about my Self and have given me that much more courage to be who I am. Dearest Joe, Caroline and Cory, there are as many kinds of love as there are moments in time and I want you to know I love you more than words can say. I can't help but think of you on this special day.

Buddhist Forgiveness Prayer

I'm back from an amazing week of workshops for the 11.11.11 Gathering and have had some requests about one of the prayers I had attendees recite after the Cord Cutting Ceremony.

Buddhist Forgiveness Prayer

If I have harmed anyone, in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly,
through my own confusions,
I ask for forgiveness.

If anyone has harmed me in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly,
through their own confusions,
I forgive them.

And if there is a situation
I am not yet ready to forgive,
I forgive myself for that.

For all the ways that I harm my Self,
judge or be unkind to my Self,
negate, doubt or belittle my Self,
I forgive my Self for that.

Healers Getting Healing

It was two weeks ago when I first started this blog and it was two weeks ago, I realize, that I heard of John of God. At the Hay House conference, Wayne Dyer detailed his experience after being diagnosed with leukemia and getting a healing from John of God. He got, what is best described as "psychic surgery" and even though Wayne wasn't present in John of God's campus in Brazil, he still underwent many of the physical pangs that one would undergoing traditional surgery.

Then, the other day, a friend I had met at the the same conference told me she had just seen John of God at the Omega Institute in New York and she detailed her own experience. While she wasn't going through particular health trauma, she did received some spiritual work.

This opened up the idea to me that perhaps that's what I could use. I've been told by some of the most powerful healers I know that I, too, have that potential. When I met the Mayan healer, Doña Berta a couple of years ago, she said my main issue was to heal my self confidence. I've been working on that ever since, but admittedly, it's been slow. I still stick to my stable and steady job and have yet to take that leap of faith the embrace who I truly am. So now, I, too, have scheduled myself for a healing from John of God. Like with Wayne Dyer, I'll be doing the virtual route. I don't think the full psychic surgery will be necessary, but I will detail my experiences here. Some of the testimonials I read said that they started receiving healings as soon as they scheduled their virtual appointment. So far, I can't say I can feel anything different, but have now finally posted something on my other blog and am posting this. It's hard to admit, but it's very difficult to be public about my feelings and experiences, at least not on a superficial level. I don't mind sharing what I eat or what I see, but how I feel is different. Perhaps it's ironic given how much of a feeler I truly am, but perhaps that is why it's far more difficult for me to share.

This blog is about me, but it really isn't about me

As Wayne Dyer says in his book, Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling, living in inspiration is really living in Spirit. And living in Spirit, I'm learning that my true gifts and talents are not about me or the work that I do, but about letting go and letting Spirit flow through me. I've been taught this for a long time, and despite how much my mentor has ingrained it into my brain, it seems that only now is it really sinking in.

Looking back, some of my happiest and proudest moments were those times I let go. Just yesterday as I was packing up and preparing for my trip and struggling around to fulfill whatever commitments I had, when I let go and let the day (or Spirit) take me, I found unexpected moments of joy, whether it was the delicious tamale and pupusa I ate after stopping at the Mi Tierra Farmers Market (for the low low price of $2.50) or letting my footsteps do the walking once I was in New York and, while I regret missing the opportunity to meet with friends, I got to see a new project by Hay House of some inspirational movies and meet director Michael Goorjian.

More importantly, I got glimpses of what I need to do in an even more concrete way. And I now feel even more inspired to tell the story (and stories) I need to tell, which is part of why I'm starting this blog now.

Torn between two blogs

New York City -- well, actually, Brooklyn

I know I already have a blog, but I'm starting this new one because, while I do love food and travel and everything yummy in life, I would really like to capture those inspirational moments in life, which seem to be happening more and more every day.

I'm torn, though. I've already got an audience, and I notice I get the most feedback when I do write about those moments of inspiration. But I also don't want to throw people completely off-topic. So, perhaps I may cross-polinate some posts here and there.

If you are a reader of Go Gastronomy, would you mind letting me know what you think?